Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Kim Tae Woo singing Love Rain. me favourite song of the month. another voice that i find soothing everytime i plug in the earphones. he has a few other ballad songs that are heart melting. hahaha. there goes wan with another of her madness. isn't she a bit too old for all these stuff? better the numbers than the alternative, right?
december's the month that i miss him most. there's the day we met, my birthday celebration, new year celebration and a few other celebrations only meant for us. not a day goes by without me thinking of him. it's coming to 5 and i still can't seem to put him out of my mind. petang semalam tengok drama cinta balqis (ikan hampir hangit, nasib baik Hana reminded me ada benda atas dapur) and ada scene masa emran@ezany tanya balqis sama ada arwah suami balqis looked like him. hmm..i wish to meet someone like Mie. the exact replica of him so that whenever i'm with him, i won't rasa bersalah thinking of Mie when in fact i'm with the new person. dari dulu masa dengan Mie, i could never imagine myself being with another person. there were times went we through rough times, sure di mulut kata tak nak go on with the marriage but deep down inside i know i would not last one day without hearing his voice or seeing him. ada rahmat kot biler ditakdirkan berpisah mati. mungkin kalau berpisah hidup, myself yang gila talak kot. hahaha. seriously, i miss him a lot. one of the reasons that i jarang pergi ke kubur which is bad of me for the kids is because i can't bear the thought of knowing that he's there but not there.

Friday, December 25, 2009

jatuh cinta lagi..lagi, lagi ku jatuh cinta..haha!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


what is it about kdrama that you can never get enough of them walaupun tengok berbagai-bagai cerita. i'm no pengkritik tapi the best kdrama of 2009 has to be IRIS. love, brotherhood and friendship. cerita yang by end of each episode, leaves me wanting more. the drama is still being shown in malaysia tapi biaselah kan, i made full use of the search engines and watched the whole drama in less than a week . Lee Byeong-Heon...i'd do anything to have you wrap me in your arms...agaga!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

saya merasakan diri saya anti-sosial.
hmm..bukan setakat rasa sahaja kot
saya mengaku saya memang anti-sosial.
and yeah..i hate weddings.
don't ask me why but i do hate them.
exception family weddings of course
cause families are well...families.
so you out there, kalau ditakdirkan akan ada
kenduri yang melibatkan you n me
jangan terkejut kalau hanya family members
yang hadir memeriahkan majlis.
haha.

had the chance to watch Natrah with kak rufa on the last nite. never thought that i'd enjoy satu cerita yang agak berat and serius. the last i tengok was Cuci (gelak tak ingat punye), there was 2 muzikal kanak-kanak and of course PGL. some of u may say that i p tengok Natrah pasal ada remy ishak. hmm..surprisingly tak sangat. i find him so-so lor. takdelah star struck like i was with Maya. seriously, sudah jatuh hati dengan dia. she was so adorable on stage as the young natrah.
i saw another side of my BIL that i've never seen before. now i'm wishing that i can find someone like him too. he's the most patient and sweet guy on that nite. tagging along with apa saja kehendak wifey.
well, krufa walaupun hati sedih dan geram pada permulaan malam dek kerana kehilangan my olympus, by end of the nite, the quality time that we spent together lebih berbaloi. thank you again.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

19 Minutes - Jodi Picoult

You stared at the stranger in front of you and decided, categorically, that this was no longer your son. Or you made the decision to find whatever scraps of your child you still could in what he had become. Was that even really a choice, if you were a mother?
People could argue that monsters weren’t born, they were made. People could criticize her parenting skills, point to moments when Lacy had let Peter down by being too lax or too firm, too removed or too smothering. The town of Sterling would analyze to death what she had done to her son-but what about what she would do for him? It was easy to be proud of the kid who got straight A’s and who made the winning basket-a kid the world already adored. But true character showed when you could find something to love in a child everyone else hated.

Monday, December 14, 2009

19 Minutes : Jodi Picoult

if you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them?
did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn't be filled?

sudah jatuh hati..

Sayu terpisah
hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
berhembus angin rindu
begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
hujan lebat mencurah kini
bagaikan tiada henti
kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari
kau pergi.. pergi..
sepi tanpa kata
terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
apa pun kata mereka
biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia

Pergi - Aizat

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

9 disember muncul lagi. satu lagi tahun, satu lagi angka bertambah. tahun ini seperti tahun-tahun yang lalu, ucapan demi ucapan diterima dari rakan, sahabat dan keluarga. entah kenapa tahun nie, setiap ucapan menambahkan sayu di hati. kenapa perlu bersedih? sepatutnya diri bersyukur kerana dipanjangkan umur dan telah diberi peluang untuk bernafas lagi.
people say wan, u're strong, kalau i tak tahu lah macam mana. well, news flash..i am not as strong as you guys think. i've been keeping a lot of things inside of me. things yang i want to stop thinking about or deal with. and i think i'm at the end of it. the laughter and kegirangness that i potray are just my masks and i'm getting tired of them.
letih yang teramat sangat. He thinks i'm capable of handling all the challenges...hanya Dia yang mengetahui.

Friday, December 4, 2009


it's 2.30 am and i'm hungry. thinking of double cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake after
watching Shemar Moore..(beefy and brown..get it?)
it's one a.m. and m still up watching final episodes of criminal minds season 4. i've got gossip girl, one tree hill, ugly betty, a couple of movies, ebooks waiting for my love and attention. talking bout love, susah jugak kalau terlalu sayangkan orang kan? setiap gerak geri dia menjadi perhatian kita dan kalau tak sesuai pada mata kita, kita yang sakit hati. end up, we distance ourselves from each other. boleh tak guna pepatah 'sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit'...instead of bukit yang tinggi, jadi bukit yang melebar..makin jauh. talking hurts and being in silent mode hurts more. who should make the first move to mend things? masing-masing ngan ego yang tinggi menggunung, tak nak mengaku kalah. or maybe one of them dah malas nak amik tau and give in. being selfish? mungkin jua.
with a hole in the heart that has been plastered for hundreds of time, maybe i'm done with mending broken heart.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

there's a hole in my heart and i can't seem to fix it.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


kapan lagi album baru?
kapan lagi nama baru?
kapan lagi foto baru?
kapan lagi datang malaysia?
kapan lagi?
kapan?
even as darkness surrounds me i can feel your presence here with me.
the greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have.

went to see the movie last weekend. since dah baca the saga, so basically dah tau what will happen..kuranglah sikit excitement nye but still it was satu kepuasan watching bella and edward again. i'd give anything to be in bella's shoes. the thrill of going thru something very mysterious and tense. hahaha..dah jelas dan nyata which team i'm with. yeah the teenagers in the theater went ooo....aaaa over jacob. naaahh..not me... badan dia macam terlebih sudah...i'll still go for Rain, just nice...*having naughty thoughts* wakakaka.
note: ye, robert tak handsome tapi saya suka edward.