Wednesday, April 29, 2009

"Mawi" singing to Aizat's dengan penuh perasaan. ahaks..Faris can be charming at times n make a-180 degrees turn to a cry baby. work has come to a standstill. sometimes i feel that my boss saje je tak bagi keje. he told me to take a long break to fully recover from my vertigo, of which i had one spinning episode last week in the office.
am looking forward to the long weekend. heading to Alor Setar for a kenduri, enjoy glorious food and superb company...ooo la la.
i've got couple of friends who are trying to hook me up...hahaha..all the best gals.
tapi dalam tu ada jugak yang tak agree with me meeting with new prospects...ah but then!!!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

after weeks of drama, it has finally come to a stop.
a stop that leaves me feeling lonelier than i have ever been
and feeling lost.
hoping and praying that this stop will be the beginning of a new journey.
a journey that i hope will somehow include me and the rest of the clan.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Farhan on my Happy Birthday heart shaped pillow.. Mama nie sapa bagi?
Me: kawan mama
Farhan: naper dia bagi mama?
Me: untuk harijadi mama
Farhan: kawan mama laki ke pompuan?
Me: naper adik tanya?
Farhan: hehehehehehe.

Farhan on a pic of me..mama
Me: apa?
Farhan: ...mama comel lah.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

it's 3 am and here i am still up watching Twilight, again. can't seem to get enuff of bella & edward. something to get my mind off my eldest. i've discovered something very disturbing and it's upsetting me big time. praying to Allah for his guidance and hoping he'll grant me the patience that i need.
p/s: praying too for my dearest niece. hope she'll be ok.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

i've finished reading the last of the twilight series - breaking dawn. agak lama jugak nak abiskan cite nie. stopped banyak kali in the earlier part of the book. got too absorbed into the cite. i was all anxious and couldn't bring myself to continue reading. like i truly felt what they were going thru and mostly takut to tau apa yang akan terjadi. ahaks. insane kan? anyway...memang enjoy giler baca series nie. kudos to stephenie meyer. life will definitely not be the same again...maybe i'l be like aisyah who has read them like 4 times..a definite.
anyway rasanya it was a good thing that something kept me bz thru out the whole of last week. kurang sket rasa stress. am not good in dealing with emotion related problem. i will always pendam kan dalam hati and when i do burst, it's not a nice sight. aaaahhh...this is what u get for loving someone sooooooo much!!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

m not thinking much as when i think a lot, i get stressed out and when i do, i'm not a nice person to be around with. so i'm doing my bit of therapy or anger management by reading books. finished the last 50-page of Twilight yesterday and started and finished New Moon the same day. i've got my hands on Eclipse today. at this minute, i've reached page 30...can't wait for lunch time. all tv series will be put on hold for this week. i'm off to my journey with Edward and Bella.
p/s: keeping his distance as usual.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

i started to read Twilight yesterday afternoon (sebab termakan kata-kata Aisyah yang dah baca series nie 4 kali - sian Ali) and by 5 i had about 50 pages left (all thanx to my boss yang tak kacau i sbb katanya i'm not feeling well gitu) printed out the rest (yeah..penyalahgunaan harta pejabat). i definitely heart the book than the movie. biler i cakap kat syu, i'm all smiles biler baca cite nie..dia jawab ala-ala muda remaja gitu. heeelllooo....u don't have to be muda remaja to appreciate love story. when i read, i get into the story and my imaginations run wild!!! that was me feeling all nice in the afternoon.
by evening my emotions took a turn. i was called up by the kids' nenek. i don't like it when she just say drop by the house without stating the reason. my heart was all tensed. the story when i got to her house, Firdaus played truant and was caught redhanded smoking. now what do i do? do i do the small talk like what i've been doing to him for the past months? or do i juz the beat the crap out of him. while the nenek was giving him the talk, i kept quiet. then i juz took off without saying a word to him. my heart aches so much. i've been nothing but nice to him, trying to fulfill his every wishes. i have gazillion things in my mind right now that i wish to say to him but i don't know where to start. i'm not mom material, how do i handle all these things? sis said maybe he's juz experimenting with things at his age and there's still hope. it's like the first few years of marriage all over again.
my mood has definitely taken a twist. that 50-page has to wait.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

forgiving is healing. forgive yourself before forgiving others.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

credit: boysoverflowers-sg
Wishful thinking is the formation of beliefs and making decisions according to what might be pleasing to imagine instead of by appealing to evidence or rationality. - wikipedia.