Wednesday, December 26, 2007

all i feel like doing today is to crawl under a blanket in a room with the drapes closed, the radio on playing all the 80s song that i once grew up listening to and cry my heart out. i do really need to cry. it's juz too much for me to handle. i've been handling them since their 1st day. even though he was around but still i was the one who shouldered almost everything. arrggh!! why did i take the turn? could life have been more simpler if i had not taken it? God knows!! i'm stressing out!!! i need a break!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

kids goofing around with the phone cam..

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

take a listen to this song. One dengar kat antara blog wajib tiap2 pagi. juz luv it.

sambil tu...our morning at TTwangsa

Monday, December 17, 2007

Kelab Kristal (ST) had their family day at Agrotek Resort, Ulu Langat last Sat 15.12.2007. i went a day earlier to set up things with a few other committee members. hmm..tempat dia oklah. ada tempat memancing, tempat lepaq2 kat tepi kolam, tempat piknik kat tepi sungai, ada water games, flying fox. everything was ok cuma food was lousy pastu tak cukup. dah abis bersukan mestilah masing2 laparkan? so food sepatutnya banyak lah..anyway we paid for those under 15. i had to ratah lauk je dlu pasal nasi dah abis. udang sederhana besar tu adalah dapat dalm 2 ekor sorang, sotong kementot besar ibu jari sekor sorang..punyalah catu makanan..dasat sungguh!! maybe nasib kita orang kot..boleh jadi orang lain punye event ok je kot. anyway, tahun nie One tak banyak main games pasal melibatkan air. i can't swim therefore i can't breathe in water. so tak payahlah nak nyusahkan badan n menyusahkan org lain nak bg CPR..hehehehe! kids had fun main water pistol and mandi sungai. farhan sorang je yg takut nak masuk dlm air. kalau kat swimming pool tak plak dia takut. Hmm..memilih jugak budak nie.
kids tengah menyiapkan diri nak main water pistol. masa nie water games belum start lagi. so masing-masing dah restless nak main air..i had them playing with the pistol first. mana nak tengok dia orang, mana nak join games. Hmm..

faris and farhana dah mulakan water pistol war. ada lagi 6-7 kids running around with the pistol. hahaha..the best part was, bukan setakat kanak2 riang je yg main..we the adults pun main gaks. tak kiralah ada boss ke takde boss masa tu. kasi main jugak.

firdaus in action. anak dara kat sebelah tu antara adults yang turut serta dalam war tu. masa nie masih x nampak lagi kebasahan memasing. faris & firdaus memasing took part in games. payah jugak nak memujuk si firdaus ni untuk main. kononnye malulah pasal dah besar. hmm..

kids main air kat sungai agrotek..farhan sorang je yg refuse untuk masuk..takut katanya.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

had a weird dream last nite. i dreamt that i had a partner, it was not of the opposite sex. it was with a gal i knew from my school days. hmmm. remembering the old days...back then during secondary, i attended an all girls school (my father nak jaga anak dara dia dari pengaruh boys yg pada dia are all bad). well, dalam all girls school mesti ada macam2 jenis orang kan? ada yang very the keperempuanan, ada yang very the kejantanan and ada jugak mixture of both. i think i was in the third group. the 2nd group mostly played hockey or are active in sports. masa junior level, ramailah senior-senior 'macho' yg diminati oleh we the juniors. ahaks!! including me. i was head over heels with A. apa saje occasion yg ada, be it birthday, valentine's day, open day.. i would b giving her gifts. i spent a lot on gifts & flowers. bila diingatkan balik, i finished my savings on her and when my father found out..boy! was he mad!! i went thru the 3rd degree with him. then came a time when i had a few admirers of my own. hahahaha!! that was a big laugh. i did not know that i could fall into that particular category. i would receive "love letters" ..hehehehe. i kind of liked the attention that i received from both my juniors and seniors. arrghh!! those were the days, when everything you did was fun and nothing else matter and being close to the same sex was not seen as something weird. then there was this gal or rather classmate that i had a crush on. she was juz sweet and friendly (loves to write puisi, sajak yg jiwang2) and we spent a lot of time together that i had to claim her as mine. i shamely poured out my feelings toward her. she must have had a hard time back then with me. hmm...sadly she turned me down pasal masa tu dia sendiri dah ada partner in crime dia. i'm still friends with her till this day tapi jarang sangat dapat jumpa. some of my friends yg hard core dlu dah kawin and have kids of their own...alhamdulillah. some are still searching...i hope they find what they are looking for. back to my dream...i mimpi girl yg sama i once badly wanted. hmm...apa maksudnye ek?
p/s: rasanye kalau my father had known my school life back then, mesti dia masukkan i kat co-ed school. hehehe.

Monday, December 10, 2007

celebrated my birthday on 8 & 9 December this year..twice u say? hmm..went over to my sis for makan-makan cum jumpa uncle from AS on Saturday , dapat this cake from my sis..Cu..that's me being the youngest aunt (and the hippiest!! hehehe!!)..on the actual date - 9/12, the "Wan"s had a picnic at Lake Garden. everybody in KL were there..well except for Cippa (who was sick, missed u) and Mak Ngah (dunno y). we woke the birds with our singing & i guess some of the joggers too had to seek for medical treatment due to our lovely voices. Dapat this cupcakes from syu & family...twas so sweet of them..we had nasi lemak with selection of ayam pedas or ayam rendang, fried meehoon, sandwiches, dates with hot drinks all around. kids had the most fun time i guess..coz from the minute we arrived, they were at the playground. the adults had time to ourselves to gossip & fool around. this is what i meant by fooling around<
part of the "Wan"s family having their breakfast..

Ati & Tok Ajah (me mum).after the makan-makan, we had our own activities...we had massage session, badminton session (not advisable after food intake but what the heck), gossiping, ada jugak yang layan lagu sorang-sorang kat tepi pokok..notice the comel gal behind the tree yg cuba nak amik video..hahahaha!!!

i have cute & adorable nieces & nephews...tapi yang paling outstanding for the day..

all in all..i had fun on both days. truly the best birthday eva...and being the "Wan"s that we are..we have started planning for our next makan-makan. till then...

Thursday, December 6, 2007

today's the 6th of December, the 1st time i met him 18 years ago. it is still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. juz last nite i dreamt about us. everything was as how i remembered it used to be. the laughter, the soft touch, the smile...everything was unbelievably real.
Why do we hold on to that memory when it really hurts each time we are reminded about it?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

last Monday had the chance to meet up with an old schoolmate. even though she lives in KL tapi mcm dok beribu batu, sbb susah sangat nak jumpa. bukannye x leh make time tapi masing2 ada commitment yg susah nak lepas. anyway met up kat KLCC for lunch. we had a blast walaupun niat di hati nak mencuci mata ngan cute guys tak kesampaian even though it was lunch hour. hmm..where did the cute guys menghilang? she gave me a pre-birthday gift..yg made my kids wonder..sapalah yg bagi hadiah kat mama? i like to keep them in the dark...hehehehehe. thanx gal for the lunch & wonderful time. it was worth the wait.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Managed to catch Seducing Mr Perfect over Kirana (rasanye) last 2 nites. It's a simple story tapi ntah macam a lot of the scenes dalam cite tu yang meruntun jiwa. Hmm..meruntun jiwa..maybe i exaggerate kot. Tapi memang bila nonton cite tu, ada at times tu hati betul2 rasa pedih dan sedih atau omputih kata heart aching. Macam i was the one going thru the situation. Or maybe i was reminded of the same situation that happened to me a long time ago...hmmm. Truthfully, bila menonton cerita Melayu, memang jarang benar ada perasaan sebegitu..except for certain cite yang jarang nak dapat pengiktirafan dari orang Malaysia @ melayu in general (yang btw masih sukakan cite komedi slapstick atau cite cintan cintun yang ntah apa2). Bagi menambahkan keseronokan cite tu semestinyalah due to Daniel Henney (one of God's greatest creation) & Uhm Jung-hwa (so sweet!).

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


rembat/merembat (Kamus Dewan Edisi Ke-3) : memukul dari kanan ke kiri atau sebaliknya dengan rotan yang panjang dll; (dlm permainan bola sepak) menendang (dengan mengayunkan kaki)
TAK SUKA. TAK PERNAH SUKA DAN TIDAK AKAN SUKA.

Friday, November 9, 2007



fresh from Indonesia..
juz got it this morning from a colleague
thanx a bunch!!
now..am very happy doing my work
sambil watching the boys jamming
not forgetting the yummylicious biceps of Ariel..
i'm all smiles today.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

kadang-kadang bila kita sayangkan seseorang tu, kita tertanya pada diri kita sendiri.kenapa kita sayangkan dia?
kadang-kadang bila kita bencikan perbuatan dia, kita tertanya lagi..kenapa kita tetap sayangkan dia?
love-hate relationship?
bila dia berbuat baik, kita tertanya..apa muslihat dia? dia dah buat salah ke?
bila dia berbuat jahat, kita tertanya lagi..kenapa dia buat sedemikian? dia tak sayang kita lagi ke?
bila dia berada di sebelah kita, kita buat tak nampak..take things for granted
bila dia jauh, kita rindu pada dia..tak sabar rasanya nak berjumpa
bila kita berjumpa, kita end up bergaduh
orang sekeliling bertanya, what do u see in him? what do you love about him?
hmm..soalan cepumas
kenapa ye?

Monday, November 5, 2007

ma partner in crime..
pic taken kat Rawang last saturday, orang lain tengah sibuk makan depa sibuk main chess.
Farhan seems to like Sofea a lot, everytime ada gathering, he'll hang out with her.


Friday, November 2, 2007

masa Mie left us Firdaus was about 9, Faris 4, Farhana 3 and Farhan 6 bulan. i believe the 3 eldest masih ingat Mie as once in a while depa akan talk about him. Hana dah quite a few times nangis kata that she misses her father. Farhan has surprised me. For the past couple of weeks, bila setiap kali nangis, dia akan sebut satu perkataan yang pada mulanya kedengaran macam "abang". bila confirm ngan Firdaus and the grandparents, the word surprisingly is "papa".... betapa syahdunya tangisan dia bila disertakan dengan rengekan.."papa".

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

nie masa on the way ke Putrajaya..me & kak Liza
Entry raya tak jadi, One buat entry lain lah plak.
Yesterday, ST ada buat rumah terbuka aidilfitri kat ShangriLa Putrajaya. One ditugaskan untuk jadi usherette for the day. Adus mula2 tu memang reluctant sesungguh nak buat, yelah One bukan pun kenal all the guests of our Department. Tolong jemput thru kad bolehlah. Anyway, nak tak nak kenalah jugak, yelah..saya yang menurut perintah. Sampai sana dalam pukul 2.45 petang. Event starts at 4pm. Uish!! Lama lagi tu. Ronda2 kat Hotel tu. Tiba2 mata mcm ternampak orang yang dari jauh dah terserlah ketampanan dia walaupun side profile je. Ya Allah! Ye ke? Walaupun lutut ni dah menggeletar sebab mcm terpana dengan keindahan ciptaan Allah..tetap gagahkan jugak gi tegur nak amik gambar. Ahaks!! Believe it or not, tangan One menggeletar masa nak tolong amik gambar member office ngan dia. I was like a high school girl, giggling, flirting like nobody’s business. That truly made my day. Kira adalah hikmahnye jugak datang awal jadi usherette nie. Alhamdulillah.

tis was the 1st pic taken with him..

tak puas hati punye pasal, snap 2nd pic. notice dlm 1st pic kepala dia x penuh.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

macam nak letak gambar raya family One dulu..cerita akan menyusul kemudian..boleh?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I made this entry in my phone on the 2nd day of Eid back in Alor Setar.
..i have a daughter who now is a very sensitive gal. Juz a few minutes ago, she started crying saying that she misses the father. What should my normal reaction be? I’m not good at consoling nor am I good at giving prep talk to boost one’s self esteem. I juz took her into my arms with hope it’ll give her the comfort that she needs. Maybe the father does visit her at times. Call me kolot, but I do believe the dead do visit their loved ones. Only the lucky ones are able to feel their presence. I’ve not been lucky and I don’t think I want to be that lucky. I’m not strong enough to face his presence, although I would give anything if I could bring him back for juz 1 day. To hold and to love him with all my heart. If I could have him back for juz 1 day, I would be the most selfish person on earth. We do get to hang out doing the things we love thru my dream. Dreams that leave me dry physically and emotionally. This Eid I did not have the chance to pay my respects to him as I’m with no car. Truthfully, I’ve not been there for the past month but that doesn’t make me love him less. I still feel the burning love like I did when I first met him. Tis moment I think Hana and me share the same feeling, the feeling of loneliness.

Monday, October 8, 2007

meet my self-obsessed anak bujang..


Hana later join the fun

Friday, September 14, 2007

Semalam dalam One nye entry, kanak-kanak riang 3 orang tu ada event bukak puasa kat luar. Anyway bila balik je rumah, macam-macam yang diceritakan, masing-masing excited. Well, depa had fun..that’s all that matters. Pagi nie bila selak NST, ada article on the event that they attended.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


salam Ramadhan dari Kelab Kristal..hmm menarik jugak bekas letak kurma tahun nie.
ari nie 1st day of Ramadhan, 1st day jugak faris nak berpuasa. boleh bertahan ke dia macam firdaus? tengahari nie firdaus, faris & farhana akan keluar shopping untuk persiapan Hari Raya, boleh gitu? puasa baru sehari dah gi beli baju? well, bukan One yang bawak. kids nanti pergi ngan makcik yang organize events untuk orphans. jadilah. sementara orang nak bawa nie, pergi jelah.
hopefully tahun nie tak akan ada lagi pertandingan menghias lobi office. bukan apa, floor One nie bukan jenis yang begitu excited untuk event2 yang macam tu. dunno, boleh jadi pasal age factor kot. hahahaha!!! as if lah ramai sangat yang tetua. last year nye perhiasan was a disaster. cooperation from the jans adalah dalam 10% je kot, tu pun lepas dah puas suruh.
well, apa-apa pun hopefully bulan Ramadhan nie akan membawa seribu keinsafan. harapan agar orang di seberang jugak akan dapat menikmati Ramadhan nie dengan sebaiknya despite baru dilanda earthquake.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

gambar ehsan: thestar
Apa ke bengapnya pi bakar Jalur Gemilang semata-mata tak sukakan parti politik tertentu..
And I bet orang yang bakar nie jugak adalah antara orang-orang yang pernah berkata “tak perlu nak kibarkan bendera masa nak merdeka nie, tak perlu nak ikut orang UMNO!”
Eh hello!!! Apa kena mengena parti politik ngan kibaran bendera mahupun sambutan Hari Kebangsaan???Akai ada ka?

Thursday, September 6, 2007

marah?
naper kita selalu nak marah?
kita marah pasal kita tak suka?
atau kita marah pasal kita kecewa?
banyak sebab yang boleh menyebabkan kita marah
adakah kita hanya mementingkan diri sendiri bila kita marah?
kadang-kadang rasanya kita perlu simpan rasa marah
agar tidak menyakiti hati orang lain
adakalanya kita perlu berkorban untuk kebahagiaan orang lain
kesakitan tak pernah kita undang dan tak boleh dikawal
kemarahan yang mengundang kesakitan, boleh dikawal
rasanya kita dah cukup dewasa untuk mengawal kehidupan kita sendiri
rasanya kita dah cukup dewasa untuk berfikir secara matang
kita patut bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada
kita patut sedar akan tanggungjawab kita
dalam kehidupan ini, akan berlaku banyak perkara yang akan mendewasakan kita
terpulanglah pada kita untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan keadaan semasa
kita telah cukup dewasa.

I’m feeling sad, frustrated and confused.
When I was a young girl, I only thought of myself.
When I reached puberty, I only thought of myself.
When I first got married, I only thought of myself.
Being a mom of four made me think of all the things that I’ve done to you
I took you for granted when I misbehaved
I took you for granted when I lied
I took you for granted all those years
How I wish I could turn back time and mend all those awful things that I’ve done to you
It takes a mom to understand another mom, that’s for sure.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Wan, u ingat x 2day 16 yrs ago? Tak baikla…! Who was dat guy, nor azam, rite? Heheh..

One dapat sms nie dari sahabat yang sama-sama buat acara padang untuk sambutan Hari Kebangsaan ke-34 (kalau tak salah One). Masa One dapat sms tu, One baru je selesai tengok perbarisan kat Dataran Merdeka. Hahaha…nie yang nak korek balik album lama-lama nie. Nanti bila One dah jumpa, One akan upload kat sini.

31/8/2007, One bawak kids pergi tengok sambutan Hari Kemerdekaan Malaysia ke-50 kat Dataran Merdeka. Sampai lebih kurang 6.45 pagi, kat tepi2 jalan memang dah ramai orang tapi kita orang manage untuk dapat duduk front row. Kira best jugaklah view. Anyway, Malaysians nie kadang2 pentingkan diri sendiri jugak. Dah tau datang lambat tapi buat muka selamba duduk kat depan bebudak. Memang spoil betul mood masa tu. One menjadi kurang ajar pada pagi tu disebabkan orang lain yang dah terlebih ajar. Hati membara. Yang lain ok lah…cuma insiden tu je yang betul-betul buat hati terbakar dan terkilan sket. Lagi satu yang kurang, One pergi ngan kids je..so kegilaan tu jadi kureng sket. Sepatutnya Syu ikut skali, tapi pasal dia p tengok bunga api kat putrajaya, balik lambat, takdelah gang. Kebanyakan yang ada kat sekeliling One hari tu, agak pasif. Tak tau macam mana depa boleh enjoy the parade. As fo me, I had fun singing and waving my arms.