Monday, July 31, 2006

I love my kids, I really do. It is just at times; they really get on my nerves. Being cooped up in the house with them over the weekend was just too much. The constant arguing, shouting and crying were a welcome to headache and heartache. I wonder how those people who run or work at a care center could stand the entire racket?

It was maybe due to these that I broke down when his friend, W.D, approached me late yesterday evening. Seeing his face brought back memories. W.D. used to help send back the kids when Mie was unable to. W.D. sometimes was even the delivery person for the food that I ordered from Mie. I often scolded Mie for asking W.D to run all of his errands. Mie said W.D did not mind. W.D. is just helping out his brother, Mie would say.

I could not face W.D. last night. It just hurts. W.D. being the usual brother, offered to help out. He reminded me to call him up whenever I need his help or whenever I feel the need to talk. He said he doesn’t mind going out with me just for the sake of accompanying me, should I need one. Hahaha. That’ll be the day the makciks will start yapping.

I guess I’m being too sensitive over certain things. Just the other day, K whom I was constantly keeping in touch after Mie left, called my MIL. He called to talk about Mie’s birthday that had just passed. I answered the call and he said nothing to me. I was hurt and taken back. Was I being childish? Was I wrong to feel that way? I could not bring myself to tell him that I was sad and angry. It was just something stupid. However, a week went by and I could not hold myself any longer. I smsed him jokingly saying that I was sad that he did not remember me and so on. He replied the reason for not saying anything to me was because he did not want me to feel sad. Hah! Right! By not doing so, I was even sadder. Anyway, I was supposed to call him at the office a couple of days ago and I’ve not done so. He must be wondering why.

I guess I was not really sad or angry at the fact that I was not spoken to on that particular day. Maybe it was the attention that I wanted. I’ve always managed to grab Mie’s attention with all sorts of things and dos. I guess I’m missing that.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

It was suppose to be our anniversary..

Antara tawa dan airmata
tersimpan satu rahsia
antara dua insan
berjanji sehidup semati
suka duka dilalui bersama
mengharap sinar berlarutan
hingga ke senja
kasih sayang serta belaian mesra
dipupuk dibaja sentiasa
itulah rahsia kebahagiaan antara dua jiwa.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I hate seeing other people happy

I hate hearing the word h****
I hate people who looked down on divorcee

I hate walking round in KL

I hate meeting up with people who talks only of themselves

I hate the life that I’m going thru

I hate reality

I hate people who like to joke around about me

I hate the feeling that I’m experiencing at the mo
I hate it… I hate it… I hate it…