Tuesday, May 23, 2006



baru-baru nie..

MIL: Lama dah nenek tak pergi kubur papa..Ari tu Faris dengan mama pergi ramai orang tak?
Faris: Ramai nek.
MIL: Ye ke Faris? ..biar betul..
Faris: Ye nek, ramai...yang kat dalam kubur tu..

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

i'm not looking for sympathy..
jauh sekali attention yang tak henti-henti..
what i have here is juz my luahan hati..
One harap blog ini akan menjadi tatapan anak-anak One
apabila kelak One dijemput olehNya..
biar mereka ketahui betapa mendalamnya cinta One pada Mie..
biar mereka tahu betapa One merindui Mie..
biar mereka tahu..
biar mereka tahu dan mereka kenang..
there could never be another Mie and another papa like him..
yes, he's not the perfect friend/boyfriend/husband/father..
and neither was i a perfect friend/girlfriend/wife/mother..
yes, we had our ups and downs..we had our arguments..we had our disagreement..
that was the beauty of our friendship/love/marriage
i know at times, i would go running to my siblings..crying my eyes out..over some matters..
(which to me now... was juz somethin small)
but being hurt by someone you loved most...really truly hurts..an unbearable pain..heart shattered into million pieces..words can't describe the pain that you endure when u're hurt by your loved one..
bila orang yang kita paling sayangi pergi meninggalkan kita..kita lebih mudah mengingati saat-saat indah dan kebaikan dirinya..segala kekhilafannya..tak terlintas langsung di fikiran..bila
DALAM HATI ADA CINTA..

~masih ku merasa angkuh, terbang kenanganku jauh, langit kan menangkapku, walau kan terjatuh..dan bila semua tercipta, hanya untukku merasakan, semua yang tercipta, hampa hidup terasa..lelah tatapku mencari, arti untukku membagi, menemani langkahku, namun tak berarti..dan bila semua tercipta tanpa harus ku merasakan, cinta yang tersisa, hampa hidup terasa..bagai bintang di surga, dan seluruh warna, dan kasih yang setia, dan cahaya nyata~ bintangdisurgapeterpan ~

Thursday, May 11, 2006

i find myself too obsessed with something/someone these days..
dunno y..juz am..
escapism? hmm..
i find myself yearning to do something which i have not done for a long time..
boredom? hmm..
i find myself looking at things in a way that i've never looked before..
n i don't think it's from a positive view..
i find myself being close to someone that i once wanted to get away from..
lonely?

my heart hurts ......
maybe that's why i'm doing things that sometimes puzzles me..
i'm not me.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

2nd nite in a row..
We were in the car heading home from my MIL's house..
Hana & Faris had an argument on whether Mie was at the moon..(remember Hana & the moon)
Suddenly out of the blue..
Hana said: Mama, dulu papa suka kacau mama masa mama basuh pinggan kan?
Firdaus nyampuk: Hah..mama ingat tak abang & papa selalu miss call mama masa kita kat rumah lama..
Faris pun nyampuk jugak: Abang ingat tak, masa tu kat kerusi kat tepi tv, mama & papa main-main?..

Tell me how am i not to think of him every second & every minute of the day..


Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Assalamualaikum..papa..
Assalamualaikum..papa..
Assalamualaikum..papa.
Hana bagi salam nak masuk rumah semalam..
Papa mana ada..
Ada..
Papa takde lah..
Papa dah meninggal..
Papa ada..
Mana papa?..
Papa ada..tidor atas katil..
That was the conversation between Hana & Faris..

Later when i entered my room, I found myself looking hard at the bed with the lights still off..hoping to find Mie sprawled on the bed..hoping that all had happenend was juz a bad dream and I had waken up from the bad dream..

waktu terasa semakin berlalu, tinggalkan cerita tentang kita, akan tiada lagi kini tawamu, tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati..ada cerita tentang aku dan dia, dan kita bersama saat dulu kala, ada cerita tentang masa yang indah, saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa..teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama, ceritakan semua tentang kita, ada cerita tentang aku dan dia, dan kita bersama saat dulu kala, ada cerita tentang masa yang indah, saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa..Semua Tentang Kita ~ Peterpan ~