Thursday, September 15, 2005

Ada apa dengan One?

'Allahu laaa 'ilaaha 'illaa Huu. 'Al-Hayyul-Qayyuum. Laa ta'-khuzuhuu sinatunw-wa laa nawm. Lahuu maa fissamaawaati wa ma fil-'arz. Man-zallazii yashfa-'u'indahuuu 'illaa bi-'iznih? Ya'-lamu maa bayna 'aydiihim wa maa khalfahum. Wa laa yuhiituuna bi-shay-'im-min 'ilmihiii 'illaa bimaa shaaa'. Wasi-'a Kursiyyu-hus-Samaawaati wal-'arz; wa laa ya-'uuduhuu hifzu-humaa wa Huwal-'Aliyyul-'Aziim.

D pertengahan ayat, One terjaga..dan One boleh mendengar sendiri suara One..besar & garau. One termangu sekejap di katil.

Tadi One bermimpi..One dikejar oleh seorang perempuan..dlm dia kejar One, dia dapat kepong One..tiba2 je dia ada kat depan One..astaghfirullah..hodohnye muka dia..mata dia tersembul..muka dia panjang, rambut panjang..gigi dia buruk..x tau mcm mana nak describe tapi buruk sesungguh..

One terus baca Ayatul Kursi..suara One besar..garau..suara sapa tu?

One tengok jam..pukul 12.45 mlm..anak2 semua dah tdo..One bukak semua lampu, on kan TV..nak tpon org tapi x tau nak tpon sapa..dah lah sekrg selalu kena panic attack..tambah lagi mcm nie..One tunggu2 kalau si kecik Farhan akan menangis..takut mmg betul ada gangguan..alhamdulillah xde plak..

Musykil lah One..suara garau tu selalu keluar kalau One baca ayat2 suci dlm tdo..Dulu selalu gaks One rasa mcm x leh bernafas dlm tdo..biler start baca kursi..cukup punye payah..dah dapat baca tersekat2..suara besar & garau plak..sampai ke penghujung ayat tu lagi besar suara..lepas tu mesti takut nak lelapkan mata balik pasal x sanggup nak dengar suara One sendiri..
Ada apa dengan One?

Thursday, September 8, 2005

...maafkan mama..

Maafkan mama..mama tak bermaksud untuk marahkan anak2 mama..mama tak bermaksud untuk berkasar dgn anak2 mama..mama sayang anak2 mama..anak2 mama lah nyawa mama..mama tak boleh bayangkan hidup mama tanpa anak2 mama..anak2 mama lah hadiah yang paling berharga papa tinggalkan untuk mama..mama harap anak2 mama akan membesar menjadi manusia yg berguna..

Bersabarlah dengan mama sayangku..mama tak pernah berniat untuk melukakan hati anak2 mama..sayangilah mama sebagaimana mama menyayangi anak2 mama..

Jangan marahkan mama, janganlah anak2 mama menyimpan dendam terhadap mama...maafkan mama, Firdaus, Faris, Farhana & Farhan.

Saturday, September 3, 2005

..sakit..

Papa, mama sakit balik. Dulu, kalau mama sakit, papa ada untuk tenangkan mama, temankan mama sepanjang mama sakit. Walaupun masa papa kepenatan, papa akan tetap tenangkan mama..dengan hanya berada di depan mama, papa memberikan ketenangan pada diri mama. Sekarang, bila mama sakit..mama hanya bertemankan airmata..siapa yg akan faham apa yang sedang mama lalui ini? Ya, mama memang gelak, ketawa seperti dunia ini mama yg punya..tapi hakikat sebenar..hanya Tuhan yg tahu. Ya Allah! Apakah dugaan ini? Aku mohon padaMu, berilah kekuatan dan petunjukMu, ya Allah.
Papa, mama rindukan papa..teramat sangat rindukan papa. Kalau ya ada apa2 berlaku pada mama, apa akan terjadi pada anak2 kita papa? Siapa yang akan mengasihi & menyayangi anak2 kita? Apakah kasih sayang mereka akan sama seperti kasih sayang kita? Apakah akan terjamin hidup mereka? Kenapa papa tinggalkan mama? Kenapa papa biarkan mama menanggung semua ini? Membesarkan anak2 adalah 1 tanggungjawab yg besar papa. Macam mana kalau mama tak berjaya mendidik mereka menjadi manusia yg berguna..apakah mama yang akan dipersalahkan? Papa berjanji dgn mama untuk sama2 membesarkan mereka..untuk melihat mereka berjaya. Papa kata papa nak menetap di Bandar Baru ini hingga bila2...sebab bila papa adakan kenduri kahwin anak2 papa nanti, senang..adik2 papa ada berdekatan. Papa pernah berkata...mamalah satu-satunya isteri papa..tiada 2, tiada 3...benar hingga akhir hayat papa, hanyalah mama sorang.

Panic Disorder is a serious condition that around one out of every 75 people might experience. It usually appears during the teens or early adulthood, and while the exact causes are unclear, there does seem to be a connection with major life transitions that are potentially stressful: graduating from college, getting married, having a first child, and so on. There is also some evidence for a genetic predisposition; if a family member has suffered from panic disorder, you have an increased risk of suffering from it yourself, especially during a time in your life that is particularly stressful.

A panic attack is a sudden surge of overwhelming fear that comes without warning and without any obvious reason. It is far more intense than the feeling of being 'stressed out' that most people experience. Symptoms of a panic attack include:

raging heartbeat
difficulty breathing, feeling as though you 'can't get enough air'
terror that is almost paralyzing
dizziness, lightheadedness or nausea
trembling, sweating, shaking
choking, chest pains
hot flashes, or sudden chills
tingling in fingers or toes ('pins and needles')
fear that you're going to go crazy or are about to die


You probably recognize this as the classic 'flight or fight' response that human beings experience when we are in a situation of danger. But during a panic attack, these symptoms seem to rise from out of nowhere. They occur in seemingly harmless situations--they can even happen while you are asleep.

In addition to the above symptoms, a panic attack is marked by the following conditions:
it occurs suddenly, without any warning and without any way to stop it.
the level of fear is way out of proportion to the actual situation; often, in fact, it's completely unrelated.
it passes in a few minutes; the body cannot sustain the 'fight or flight' response for longer than that. However, repeated attacks can continue to recur for hours.

A panic attack is not dangerous, but it can be terrifying, largely because it feels 'crazy' and 'out of control.' Panic disorder is frightening because of the panic attacks associated with it, and also because it often leads to other complications such as phobias, depression, substance abuse, medical complications, even suicide. Its effects can range from mild word or social impairment to a total inability to face the outside world.

In fact, the phobias that people with panic disorder develop do not come from fears of actual objects or events, but rather from fear of having another attack. In these cases, people will avoid certain objects or situations because they fear that these things will trigger another attack.
Please remember that only a licensed therapist can diagnose a panic disorder. There are certain signs you may already be aware of, though.

One study found that people sometimes see 10 or more doctors before being properly diagnosed, and that only one out of four people with the disorder receive the treatment they need. That's why it's important to know what the symptoms are, and to make sure you get the right help.